On growing older and hopefully a little wiser….

“45, huh?”

“Almost close to your half-century!”

These were the statements that greeted me on my birthday this year. Half-century? Hmmm… I think 45 is a good time to take stock of your life!!

So what does being 45 really mean?

Well…for one, 45 is not old!! 55, on the other hand, is old. (But check with me when I get there.) Seriously, age is just a number. You are as old as you feel. You can be young at 80 and old at 30. It’s all in the mind. And I, most certainly, don’t feel old!

By the time you’re 45, you realise it’s not easy to be a parent. And then you truly appreciate what your own parents did for you. The restrictions that were imposed on us and the ‘interrogation’ that we had to face when going out was actually their love. The things, that we could not have, taught us the importance of hard-earned money. Isn’t that exactly what I’m doing as a parent?

But times are changing and one must learn to let go of things that are not important. Today, I would get more from my kids by being friends with them than trying old-fashioned discipline methods.

At 45, you realise that family is very important. Growing up in the army taught you that one thing. We used to look forward to our holidays that were spent with our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. But just being related by blood or by marriage isn’t family. Family is a feeling that comes from the heart. Sharing joys ‘n sorrows alike, celebrating together, being there for each other…that’s family!! And if there are those who don’t feel the same, let them be!

An army life teaches you one important lesson – people come and people go. Be yourself and the right ones will stay. Someone asked me this a few days ago….”Tumne itni friends kyun paal rakhi hain?” And I could only answer, “Apun aisaich hai!” At 45, I look back on my years in the army as a kid and an army wife, and I see my greatest treasure are the friends I have made over the years. I may not meet them as often as I would want to. But I know they’re there.

Of course, there have also been those who chose to walk away. But that’s fine! One thing you learn over time is that there’s no point trying to hang on to people who don’t wish to be there. Wish them well n let them go! Keep the good memories.

45 means telling the world, I am ok with the way I am! My life, my choices!! The world is full of judgemental people and we cannot please everyone. If what I do right by me and my family, it’s right!! And that’s the bottom line.

But at 45, you realise one more thing – It’s so important to take care of your own health and spirit. Exercising, walks, healthy diets, regular medical checkups – SO important!! As is meeting your own friends… There’s nothing more rejuvenating for the soul than spending an evening out with the girl gang!

And as I write this I realise that I have so much still left to do. I still have places to see, books to read, people to meet. I guess I better get that calendar out and start planning!

But one thing is for sure — 45 is a good age to be!!