On growing older and hopefully a little wiser….

“45, huh?”

“Almost close to your half-century!”

These were the statements that greeted me on my birthday this year. Half-century? Hmmm… I think 45 is a good time to take stock of your life!!

So what does being 45 really mean?

Well…for one, 45 is not old!! 55, on the other hand, is old. (But check with me when I get there.) Seriously, age is just a number. You are as old as you feel. You can be young at 80 and old at 30. It’s all in the mind. And I, most certainly, don’t feel old!

By the time you’re 45, you realise it’s not easy to be a parent. And then you truly appreciate what your own parents did for you. The restrictions that were imposed on us and the ‘interrogation’ that we had to face when going out was actually their love. The things, that we could not have, taught us the importance of hard-earned money. Isn’t that exactly what I’m doing as a parent?

But times are changing and one must learn to let go of things that are not important. Today, I would get more from my kids by being friends with them than trying old-fashioned discipline methods.

At 45, you realise that family is very important. Growing up in the army taught you that one thing. We used to look forward to our holidays that were spent with our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. But just being related by blood or by marriage isn’t family. Family is a feeling that comes from the heart. Sharing joys ‘n sorrows alike, celebrating together, being there for each other…that’s family!! And if there are those who don’t feel the same, let them be!

An army life teaches you one important lesson – people come and people go. Be yourself and the right ones will stay. Someone asked me this a few days ago….”Tumne itni friends kyun paal rakhi hain?” And I could only answer, “Apun aisaich hai!” At 45, I look back on my years in the army as a kid and an army wife, and I see my greatest treasure are the friends I have made over the years. I may not meet them as often as I would want to. But I know they’re there.

Of course, there have also been those who chose to walk away. But that’s fine! One thing you learn over time is that there’s no point trying to hang on to people who don’t wish to be there. Wish them well n let them go! Keep the good memories.

45 means telling the world, I am ok with the way I am! My life, my choices!! The world is full of judgemental people and we cannot please everyone. If what I do right by me and my family, it’s right!! And that’s the bottom line.

But at 45, you realise one more thing – It’s so important to take care of your own health and spirit. Exercising, walks, healthy diets, regular medical checkups – SO important!! As is meeting your own friends… There’s nothing more rejuvenating for the soul than spending an evening out with the girl gang!

And as I write this I realise that I have so much still left to do. I still have places to see, books to read, people to meet. I guess I better get that calendar out and start planning!

But one thing is for sure — 45 is a good age to be!!

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6 thoughts on “On growing older and hopefully a little wiser….

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  1. I agree Anupama…very well written.. Specially for our generation things are going to be different so must keep good health and friends… That will keep us healthy for years to come……i agree completely the girl gangs are the best!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. An insightful and profound piece. Very well articulated Anupama. Being in the same age group and having similar thoughts, one perspective could be this. Assuming God has granted you a normal life span ( best case scenario) , at 45, two thirds of your life is over. At least two thirds of the working life. What do you want to do with the remaining one third, and how do you want to lead it differently than the previous two thirds.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great insights Anu! Thanks for sharing. I will never know what it is like to be 45…ummm…you see, I just turned 31….and the cycle goes in reverse once I reach 35. So yeah, I’m glad I can hear all about it from wise ones like you.
    BTW – I do know many others who celebrated 45 and more, but I have to say, NOBODY looks as awesome as you do. Keep smiling gorgeous–you make the world a beautiful place 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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